


Sacrifice

by starbuckscully



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbuckscully/pseuds/starbuckscully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A ficlet exploring one possible ending to season 8. The gates of Heaven are closing and Cas has to make a choice. Dean learns that "need" doesn't always mean the same thing to everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

Dean staggered against the blustering wind. Leaves and litter twirled in the air around him like a cyclone. Heavy tree trunks creaked loudly as they swayed above. He took a step toward Cas and the massive gaping hole in the sky behind him - the rapidly closing portal to heaven.

“Cas! We did it, let’s go!”

The suction seemed to grow even more powerful as the giant black circle collapsed steadily in on itself. Dean didn’t want to stick around to find out just how strong it could get.

Cas stood staring at the portal, back to Dean.

“Cas!” Dean yelled against the deafening noise. When Cas didn’t respond, Dean walked up and touched him on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Dean.” Cas turned to him with an inscrutable expression.

“Yeah,” Dean replied. “Time to leave, buddy.”

Cas’s eyebrows scrunched together and he looked away.

“I’m not coming with you.”

“WHAT?” Dean bellowed. “Cas, now is not the time for melodramatics. This is not Purgatory. You’re coming with me this time, do you hear me? Let’s go. _Now_.” He took a step to leave, but Cas stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Dean,” Cas sighed. “When the portal closes, I will be shut out for good. There’s no going back.”

“So? You think those dicks with wings are going to be happy you helped us? You’ve been breaking away from them ever since you joined up with us - since you pulled me out of the pit! Why would you go back?”

“Why should I stay?”

“Cas, damnit, how many times do I have to tell you I need you?”

“I will be cut off from heaven, Dean. I won’t have the power to smite or heal or traverse great distances instantaneously - ”

“Cas, you idiot! I don’t need your powers, I need _you_.”

For a few moments they just stared at one another. Dean felt increasingly uncomfortable. He searched Cas’s eyes for some indication of what he was thinking or feeling, but came up empty.

“If I stay, I will be fallen,” Cas started to explain. “Human. Mortal.”

Dean stepped back and swallowed, nodding. So that was it. That _was_ too much to ask of anyone, even Cas.

“But that’s not why I should leave,” Cas continued.

Dean squinted and looked at Cas in confusion.

“Dean, I don’t think I need you… in the way that you need me.”

Ohh. _Oh_. Fuck. Cas knew. How long had he known? Cas was looking at him intently, almost sorrowfully. So much regret, so much pain on his face. Pained at hurting Dean. He couldn’t stand to look at it.

“Okay,” Dean said. He raised his hands in mock surrender. “You do whatever it is you have to do. If they’re your family - ”

Dean cut himself off and turned his back to Cas. He rested his hands on his hips, stance wide, head up, trying to project an unaffected posture. He didn’t want Cas to see how overcome he was, but he couldn’t prevent the tears that streamed down his face. He closed his eyes and tried to fight back the feeling of panic at Cas leaving, Cas knowing, Cas not feeling the same, everything coming to miserable conclusion. Had he ever thought it would end any other way?

“…and I appreciate that you care about me, Dean,” Cas rambled on in the background. Dean didn’t want hear his attempts at consolation. He tried in vain to shut it out. “…did not know if I did or what it even meant, at first,” Cas continued. “But I’m sure now that I’m in love with you. I would never want to make you uncomfortable. It would not - ”

Dean’s eyes jolted open. He spun on his heels and gripped Cas by the shoulders.

“You're  _what?_ ” he yelled. He stared into Cas’s glistening eyes, demanding explanation. Cas bit his lip and looked down.

“You heard me,” Cas said softly. “It doesn’t matter. Dean, I do not want you to feel sorry for me - ”

Dean threw back his head and laughed. When he looked back down he saw Cas staring back at him, completely distraught.

“You stupid son of a bitch!” he grinned and stepped closer.

Dean took Cas’s face in both his hands and pulled him in for a hard, pressing kiss.

Cas sucked in a breath of air and raised a hand to clutch on to Dean’s left wrist. After a moment, Cas relaxed and Dean smiled into the kiss.

Finally Dean stepped back and let out a happy sigh. Cas looked back at him with an expression more of surprise than anything else. The tears in his eyes had tipped over the brim, but a small smile quirked at one side of his mouth now. He still held on to Dean’s wrist.

“I… I misunderstood,” Cas stated slowly.

“I’ll say,” Dean chuckled softly. He twisted his wrist free and pulled Cas in for a warm embrace. To his astonishment, Cas actually raised his arms and hugged back this time. He felt hands grip his jacket tightly. Dean squeezed harder and buried his face in Cas’s neck.

“I’m staying,” Cas whispered.

Dean just nodded, not trusting himself to answer aloud. He lifted his eyes to the sky behind them and saw that the portal had shrunk down to some ten meters wide. It was past time to get out of there. Reluctantly, he stepped out of the hug.

Dean wiped a hand across his face and composed himself. He caught Cas’s eye and jerked his head in the direction of the car.

Cas nodded and looked bashful. They started to walk back, trudging against the wind and airborne debris. Dean’s thoughts whipped around his mind in cyclones of their own. He wondered absently if it was normal or healthy to actually feel one’s heart in one’s chest. The gates to hell and to heaven were closed. Life was about to get a lot simpler. And a lot more complicated… Dean stole a glance at Cas and felt a rush of excitement and happy terror. Complicated, but worth it.

As they got close to the car, Dean heard the sound of clapping and cheering followed by one very loud and inappropriate whistle.

Dean glared at Sam and frowned.

“New rule,” Dean announced. “Driver loves his angel, and baby brother shuts his cakehole.”

Sam just rolled his eyes and opened a back door to slide into the Impala.

Dean looked over at Cas who was standing still and staring at him with a somewhat dazed expression of awe.

“Well?” Dean asked. “Are you waiting for a butler or something?” He gestured to the passenger door.

“Oh,” Cas replied and seemed to snap back to the present. He opened the door and they both got in. In the distance the last spot of black in the sky vanished and the wind suddenly ceased.

Dean cranked the car and put it in drive. The future was as uncertain as always, but with the ones he loved by his side, he could not ask for anything more.


End file.
